Author: pagesofmypassport14

Four Years Of Us: An Open Letter

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Dear Toby, 

So, it’s been four years of you and me. Sometimes I feel like I’ve known you forever and other times it baffles me that so much time has passed already. And what a ride it’s been, eh? Even in the last three months we’ve been through so much! Between your broken ankle, my family emergencies, and a global pandemic, it’s been hard to make time for each other. But make no mistake, you’re in my thoughts and in my heart every single day. 

I know that public displays of affection aren’t really your thing, but I wanted to post this today because in this uncertain time, I want to put out as much love, kindness and positivity into the world as I can. Thank you for giving me your blessing to write and publish this online. 

I am, as you know, the kind of person who during hard times, likes to look back on happy memories for comfort. There are so many with you sweetheart. And ours are my favourite to reminisce. 

As I sit here writing this, I’m listening to our song. Do you remember the first time you played this to me? I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. There are a few little moments that pop into my head often and never fail to make me smile. The first time you told me you loved me, in the car after we’d spent an afternoon soaking up the sun in the Cathedral Close. When you came back from uni to surprise me on Bonfire Night. That time you turned up at my work with a bunch of roses just because I’d had a rough night the day before. 

I love how with you I’m always laughing. Even when I’m angry or sad or tired, you’re always trying to make me laugh and despite my best efforts sometimes, you always succeed.  

I love the way you’re truly my best friend. You’re the first person I want to tell when I’ve got good news, the first person I want to cry to when it’s bad news. You treat me with such respect, compassion and love. We can talk about anything and there’s nothing I’m afraid to share with you. We call each other out on our bullshit. We’re quick to apologise when we fall out. We can discuss our flaws and help each other grow and learn. 

Your work ethic and determination are two of my favourite things about you. It makes me so proud to see you working so hard towards your degree and your future. You inspire me to want to find something I enjoy that much and work hard for it. 

You give the best hugs that make me feel safe and loved and protected. You’re such a comfort to me. When I’m having a bad day or an anxious moment, hearing your voice or seeing your face brings a sense of calm over me. Thank you for supporting me, for cuddling me, for letting me into your life four years ago and not letting me go. 

My heart aches at not being with you today and I can’t wait to be able to have a belated take-out and movie night as soon as we can. 

Life is full of ups and downs but there’s no one I’d rather ride this rollercoaster with. You have my heart forever.

Happy Anniversary sweetie!

All my love, 

Hermione xx

My Thoughts On Lover

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It’s been a month now since Taylor Swift released her seventh studio album, Lover.

As I’ve listened to nothing else since that day, I think I’m in a position now to share my thoughts on some of the tracks. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Taylor Swift and I have to say that this album lived up to all of my expectations.

“I thought that it would kill me but it didn’t: it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference.”

The opening track, I Forgot That You Existed holds a brilliant message for me. It reminds me of a very specific feeling that you find yourself experiencing without warning. When you’ve spent so long overthinking a situation or pining over a crush or resenting an enemy… then, without you realising, it starts to fade away until one day you stop and go, ‘wow, I haven’t thought about that in ages… and I’m thinking about it now but I don’t feel anything’. To me, that’s how you really know you’re over something. And the more intense that feeling was, the more satisfying it is to realise you’ve forgotten it.

“I cried like a baby coming home from the bar… I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Cruel Summer is some of Taylor Swift’s best lyrical story telling. When I listen to it I feel like I’m right there in the situation about which it was written. Sneaking around with someone just for fun, then falling in love and being faced with the choice between breaking your own heart by calling it off or carrying on and risking the agony of that unrequited love growing stronger. And then ‘he looks up grinning like the devil’ because he’s been feeling the same way all along and actually it’s all gonna be okay. Argh! I love it! I also think it’s brilliant to belt in the car with the windows down.

“I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue. Put you in jail for something you didn’t do”

I relate hard to Afterglow. In this track Taylor sings about the excruciating guilt one feels when their insecurities cloud their view of a good thing that’s right there in front of them. I’m like this. I catastrophise. I can take a minor issue and turn it into something much bigger, panic about this seemingly huge issue, convince myself that the whole relationship will come crashing down and then start preparing myself for that by creating distance and blame. It’s like a form of self sabotage, but when you take a step back and realise that you overthought the whole thing, sometimes you have to say “That was all in my head, and I nearly let it destroy us. Please forgive me.”

“My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue, all’s well that ends well to end up with you”

Lover’s title track was my favourite of the four pre-release tracks. It’s a classic love song; from the bridge that reads like wedding vows and references Shakespeare to the timeless instrumental lilt. I’m lucky that I have someone who I think of whenever I hear that song and even though he’s not a fan of Taylor Swift, one of the first things I did when I heard it was play it to him, like reading out a love letter and saying ‘this is how I feel about you.’ Also there’s a line that reads, “I’ve loved you three summers now honey, but I want ’em all,” which matches our timeline too so that’s kinda satisfying.

“I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden, like daylight”

In Daylight, Taylor describes how this new chapter of her life feels like a reawakening after the dark time during which she wrote Reputation – Daylight almost became the album title until she realised that was “a little on the nose”. She touches on letting things go, leaving the darkness behind, and most poignantly realising what real love feels like. She cleverly references Red, her 4th studio album, which was about all the parts of love that feel like the colour Red: the anger, the lust, the despair, the danger. The parts that are romanticised in the movies but are actually pretty distressing in real life. Daylight is Taylor professing that, for her anyway, love should be like Daylight: nourishing, refreshing, warm, healthy, glowing. Not always perfect, but always there to greet you after a long, dark night.

I wish I could write a little paragraph on all 18 tracks, and maybe I will eventually, but 5 will do for now. Listen to the album for yourself and let me know what you think. Which are your favourites? Do you agree with my take on the ones I’ve mentioned? What other music releases have you been loving lately?

Happy Global Running Day!

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I just found out that today is Global Running Day! An appropriate day to have completed my first run since last week; 3.52km in 30 minutes.

It’s been just over a week since I went to London and ran in the Vitality London 10,000. I already wrote about how proud I am of myself, but to celebrate Global Running Day today, I want to tell you about some observations I made about myself while I was doing it.

The major one was that rather than becoming tired, having expended my energy, I actually found that the experience, in particular the actual running, got easier as I went along. My total time was 1h22m19s but the timing devices on our shoes also recorded the time at which we crossed the 5km halfway point and it turned out that I completed the second 5km 8 minutes faster than the first 5km!

One factor of this I think is the breaking down of the mental barriers that had got me so nervous. In training I’d be getting tired and sore around 2 or 3 km and I’d think ‘I can’t do it’ and stop. On the day of the 10k though, giving up and going home wasn’t an option. I had to push through whatever I was feeling and just get on with it. Doing that, and finishing the race gave me the proof that actually – I can do it!

Another observation which was slightly less positive was that my ankles were BURNING. That’s part of what I had to push through and fortunately that got more bearable and less severe as I went along. I ran from the start line and the first time I felt like I had to slow down and walk was because my ankles were hurting. But as soon as I slowed down, they hurt even more! That was a pretty unpleasant conundrum. I’ve been to see a sports physio who suggested that the burning pain may be some irritation/inflammation of the tendons around my ankle joints. I need to take it easy until I’ve had that investigated a little further I think, because I was told that that type of irritation can increase the chances of stress fractures. But I’m not going to stop running and I’m going to aim to run 5k regularly now as part of a general exercise routine.

This newfound ability to run makes me feel like a kid with a new toy!

I Did It!

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10 weeks ago I decided to take on the challenge of running 10 kilometres in the Vitality London 10,000.

In that time I’ve been through a range of thought processes from ‘Hell yeah I can run 10k’ to ‘Running is actually quite hard’ to ‘It’s okay, I’ve still got time to pull it back’ to ‘Crap, it’s in 2 weeks and I’ve barely run more than 3km’.

I stopped writing so much about it as the event got closer ’cause I became really scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it and I knew I hadn’t trained as much as I thought I would. This was down to a range of reasons including bad mental health days, family members in hospital and stressing about uni exams.

At the beginning of the process I felt really confident and was running in the gym every couple of days. Then I took my training outside and realised that running on the road is way more impactful on my ankles than running on a treadmill. Before Monday, I hadn’t run more than about 3km in one go.

And yet, I completed my first 10k in 1 hour, 22 minutes and 19 seconds! When I crossed the finish line I was so bloody chuffed with myself and two days later I actually still can’t quite believe I did a 10k!

I need to shout out my amazing boyfriend, Toby, for coming with me and waiting for me at the 8.5km mark to spur me on for that last stretch! I ran with my phone in my hand so that I could listen to music and he kept sending me encouraging messages along the lines of ‘Keep going! You can do it!’.

I intend to keep training and keep running, so it probably won’t be too long before I’m doing another 10k! I’ll let you know!

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10 Weeks to 10k

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On this day a year ago, I returned from my amazing trip to Australia, all 3 months of which, I documented on this blog.

Today, I’m going to start documenting an entirely different, but (hopefully) as exciting and fulfilling journey…

But first, a word of context. Someone who really inspires me in the area of body confidence is Giovanna Fletcher, author, actress, wife of McFly’s Tom Fletcher and mother to three adorable (according to Instagram) little boys. Giovanna, who tends to be known as Gi, knows that even though her body may not look ‘perfect’ according to society’s ideals, it’s done so much for her and deserves to be loved and taken care of. One of Gi’s body’s achievements is giving birth to her three children and if you’re familiar with any of her work, you’ll know this is what she’s most proud of.

I haven’t been all that happy about my body in the last few months. I’ve always had issues with my back and my knees, I regularly see a chiropractor to keep my spine from crying, and recently I’ve felt so lethargic and lacking in energy. Things like exhaustion, headaches and lack of sleep come as symptoms of my poor mental health. And while they won’t officially diagnose me with asthma, I use a Ventolin inhaler to keep me from wheezing when I exert myself a little too much. My body may be keeping me alive but sometimes I feel like it doesn’t let me do much more than that.

I want to do something to remind myself how amazing my body actually is and what it’s capable of, and give myself a chance to nurture it while also giving it a gentle push to get its act together!

Obviously, bearing children is not part of my immediate plan, so I can’t use the same approach as Gi Fletcher, but I can attempt something else. I’ve decided to run the London Vitality 10000; a 10k race, taking place on 27th May.

I think it will be an important and challenging experience for me, plus I miss writing something that isn’t lecture notes, so I’m going to write about my training journey on this blog (Pipe down, I never said it would be exclusively a travel blog!). (EDIT September 2022: I did do that but have archived most of the posts!)

The run is in 10 weeks, so I’ll be starting from scratch and publishing plenty of posts about how I’m getting on. Also, if you’ve done anything like this yourself (Mickie, I’m looking at you), I’d LOVE your advice. As someone who doesn’t usually run unless it’s for a bus, I’ll be needing as much help as I can get.

(Featured image courtesy of https://www.vitalitylondon10000.co.uk/)

Psst… it’s me!

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It’s embarrassing when you realise you forgot to post a homecoming blog post and just left everyone hanging post-Blue Mountains.

One day I might post a throwback post with the pictures of my last couple of days (spent back in Perth with Beth) and the motley parade that met me at Heathrow Airport when I got home! But for now, something a little different.

This was never just meant to be an ‘Australia Blog’, hence my not putting anything overtly Oz related in the name of it. It’s a travel blog and I plan to do a lot more travelling. There’ll be quiet periods, as there’s been for the last 3 months, but when I am travelling, I plan to write about it. I’ve always loved writing; English was my favourite subject as a child and all the way through school. To that end, the other reason I intend to keep this platform alive is to keep writing, little and often (ish), because it’s something I really enjoy. And if I can write about my adventures, so much the better! I’ve not got a huge amount planned for the rest of the year, but I’m certainly not staying at home – especially not during this beautiful heatwave we’re having in the UK – so, keep your eyes peeled for some travel related tidbits here and there!

The Blue Mountains

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Everything about yesterday was wonderful.

I spent the day at the Blue Mountains National Park, which is located about a two hour train journey west of Sydney.

I caught the train to a town called Katoomba where I purchased a hop on/hop off bus pass with a company called Blue Mountain Explorer Bus. Let me just tell you, this was an amazing way to see the area! There are a lot of companies who run guided tours, even picking you up from your hotel/hostel in Sydney, but I wanted to go it alone and do the day at my own pace, which is why I chose to catch the train.

When I bought the ticket, I was given an amazing little guidebook, which actually is the ticket – you just wave that at the bus driver when you hop on. The book had a map of the bus circuit, an full index of all 31 stops, an example itinerary for getting the most out of your day, detailed information about all the stops and attractions, and smaller maps of each area which could be used for the walks. Furthermore, the drivers was so friendly and informative; I can’t say enough, how awesome this service was!

Anyway, the first place I hopped off was Katoomba Cascades. The whole area is full of waterfalls and streams, so this was the first of many that I came across. I walked for an hour or so, through to ‘Scenic World’, where I stopped for a sandwich. Scenic World is an amalgamation of the Skyway, Cableway, Railway and Walkway. I didn’t go on any of these due to the price and the fact that I wanted to see as much as possible rather than linger over one area, but it’s definitely one I’ll add to the list for next time.

Katoomba Cascades

Here, I hopped back on the bus to Echo Point. This is where you can get the best views of the Three Sisters, the main attraction of the Blue Mountains.

First glimpse of the Three Sisters from the Prince Henry Cliff Walk
From the Honeymoon Bridge, Three Sisters on the right hand side

Mount Solitary

Having walked down to the bridge where you can actually touch the Three Sisters, I got back to the bus stop to find that a bus had left about 5 minutes before. (This was admittedly my own fault for not keeping an eye on the time or checking the timetable which was literally in my hand…). The buses run every 30 minutes, so rather than sit twiddling my thumbs for 25 minutes, I decided to walk round the escarpment to the next stop. Somewhere along the way I must’ve misread the map, because two hours later, I’d walked all the way down into the valley, and back up again…oops! Though to be fair, it was a beautiful walk and it didn’t take long for me to realise my mistake, at which point I chose to just carry on, rather than walk back on myself. For anyone who’s familiar with the area, I walked from the Three Sisters to the Leura cascades, and for anyone who’s not, I walked a bloody long way!

All the steps, first down to the valley, then back up to the top, we’re this steep! Some like this, and some cut into the cliff
Leura Cascades

When I eventually got back to civilisation, around 4pm, it was nearing the time of the last buses and it looked like I wouldn’t have time to do much else without missing the last bus. I asked one of the drivers what he’d suggest and without a second thought he recommended Wentworth Falls. This is a little further out from Katoomba and Leura, and the explorer company run a shuttle there; you get off the bus at Stop 21, and immediately get on another, which takes you to Wentworth Falls at Stop 31. Pretty nifty. This was the last shuttle out there, but the Wentworth Falls train station was a short walk away and on the same line as Katoomba. I was sold.

Off I went to Wentworth Falls and it was so worth it. If I’d admitted defeat and finished the day at Leura, it would still have been awesome, but Wentworth Falls was a perfect round-off.

Wentworth Falls from the lookout

I put my bathers on and went for a swim at the Fletchers Lookout, before heading back. I had two options here; either walk in a straight line down the main road until I reached the train station, or take the Charles Darwin Trail through the forest. Since I had no time limit, I obviously chose the scenic route! The Charles Darwin trail follows the stream back up and was a nice easy, mostly flat walk, unlike the many many steps of my earlier hike. What turned out to be a major ego boost is that the official estimated time for this trail is 1 hour and 15 minutes – I managed it in 40! *muscle flex emoji*

Back in Wentworth Falls, I got on the train back to Sydney, and after a shower and some dinner, I crashed out for a good 12 hours! (Note: my legs are definitely feeling it this morning!)

Charles Darwin walk – at times I felt like I was in the English countryside!

Sydney: Coogee to Bondi Coastal Walk and the fanciest nightclub ever!

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The hostel I stayed at in Sydney, Sydney Central YHA, put activities on for guests every day of the week, and on my first full day, I took advantage. I think that’s pretty awesome, cause it’s a great way to meet people and do some stuff in the city that you might not have known about or wanted to do alone.

Obviously, the most famous beach in Sydney is Bondi, but the other main one is Coogee (with a soft g, as in Geoffrey) and this is where we started. The eastern beaches coastal walk follows the coastline round for 7km to Bondi Beach, passing by Gordon’s Bay (shout out to Toby’s grandad whose name is Gordon!), Clovelly Beach, Waverley Cemetery, Bronte Beach and Tamarama Beach.

What’s more, I had the most bizarre encounter on the walk. Kara, the YHA staff member who was leading the walk, was talking to another member of the group, who lived in Portsmouth. Kara’s response was what caught my attention:

“Oh yeah, I know Portsmouth, I lived in Salisbury for a while…”

I couldn’t help myself, I turned and exclaimed, “No you did not – I’m from Salisbury!”

Cue us asking each other questions about where each of us lives/lived, how long ago she was there etc. It was when she asked me what schools I’d been to that things got more weird: turns out she was in Salisbury doing a year of work at none other than my first primary school! She’s only a couple of years older than me so it was well after my time there, but we talked about teachers we both knew and places in Salisbury we liked etc. Given that most people I’ve met here, haven’t even heard of Salisbury, it was super nice to be able to fangirl about it with someone.

Also, after that, whenever I introduced myself to a member of staff, they went ‘Oh you’re the one from Salisbury, Kara told me about you!’. In hindsight I felt a bit bad and apologised for my initial reaction, after all I did turn around and basically shout in this poor girl’s face! But she told me it was fine and that she’d have been pretty disappointed if I’d just casually gone ‘oh yeah I live there’. I’m glad she was excited as I was!

After the walk, the group dispersed and myself and Gemma, somebody else I’d met (who incidentally has an Aunt and Uncle that live in Salisbury – wtf?!), went to get fresh fish and chips which we sat and ate by the beach, before topping up our tans.

To round off the day, I went with the YHA gang to a club called The Ivy. Those of you who know me will know I’m not really into clubbing, and I wouldn’t have gone if we hadn’t been given vouchers for free entry. I’m so glad I did go though, and despite being completely sober, it was probably the best night out I’ve ever had. The club was massive and super fancy; two buildings, connected by a sort of outdoor courtyard, both of which had multiple floors and there was even a rooftop pool! Polished off with McDonalds on the way back, was a preeeeetty damn good day!

Another airport shambles!

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So, remember when I arrived in Perth 9 weeks ago and the airline had left my luggage in Malaysia? Well, it happened again. Welcome to the fail that is my life!

I made my way to Melbourne Tullamarine airport on Tuesday morning, and admittedly I was cutting it a bit fine for check in. That said, I wasn’t late – just last minute!

So I dropped my bag off, all fine, and hotfooted it to the boarding gate, arriving a mere moment before they opened for boarding.

The flight was smooth and easy, they’d moved me to the emergency exit row due to a lack of passengers there, which meant extra leg room for me!

I landed in Sydney, and went to grab my rucksack off the carousel. Slowly but surely, the crowds dissipated, and he bags on the conveyor belt got fewer and further between, but no sign of mine. *sigh*

The lovely lady at the service desk, Yasmin, checked with the ground crew to see if it had fallen off the outside carousel, and then phoned Melbourne to see if they had it. They did. Somehow, my bag hadn’t quite made it onto the plane!

Thankfully, they rushed it onto the next flight and it was delivered to my hostel the next morning. AND by a twist fate, when I’d put the booze from the wine tour in my bag, I’d taken out a few clothes and shoved them in my hand bag to make room – so I even had a change of clothes while I waited for my luggage.

Get your shit together Australia, you’ve been amazing but you are not good at handling luggage!

I chundered in a Pharmacy

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Tuesday = worst day ever.

I woke up feeling dreadful, and within minutes of drinking a large glass of water, thinking it would make me feel better, I threw up.

My first thought was that I must be hungover from the day before – but even this seemed odd, because I didn’t think I’d drunk enough to warrant this reaction. Nevertheless, I went back to bed to sleep it off. I was actually meant to be checking out this morning as well, so that was an added complication.

My bed was booked out for that night so come 10am, I had to pack my stuff and vacate the room. Shoutout to Nicole for letting me sleep in her bed for most of the day!

Long story short, the vomming didn’t stop all day and I decided to go to the doctor and get a certificate, so I could change my flight and claim the money back on the insurance. He also prescribed me some antisickness tablets so I could actually drink some water and have it stay in my system; I was well on my way to dehydration by this stage.

Unfortunately, while waiting in the Pharmacy, I went again. The poor staff member looked a bit shocked when I interrupted her conversation to say “I need a bag, I’m gonna be sick!”. The staff were very sweet and professional, and one of them showed me to the staff bathroom so I could wash up. Thank you nice lady from Priceline!

I checked back into a different room at the hostel for the night and got straight into bed, where I slept from about 6pm until the next morning. Thankfully, I woke up feeling much better (if a little weak and weary from not having eaten anything the day before) and jumped on a plane to Sydney… that comes with its own story though!